The Dalek And The Panda

So, I guess the future must look pretty Black and White to you, eh?

Get it, Black and White? I said, the future must...

Okay, fine, ignore me. Go on chewing your leafy sticks. 

Gee, tough crowd at the old zoo tonight.

The Dalek ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Captain Scarlet: You want me to do WHAT with this ice bucket? 
Couldn't I just write a check instead?

Exterminate Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis! 

Exterminate Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis!! 

Exterminate Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis!!! 

Hulk Smash Llama

Come here, let me smash you. Just a little? Please?
Hulk promise to be gentle.

A Better Perspective

Artist: Wow! The zoo seemed so crowded at ground level! 
I'm glad I decided to fire up the old flight motor. 
I think I'll land in another area, and find a new area to explore.

Koala Envy

Ooh, he looks so cute, can we take him home? 
What do you mean, he'd eat up all our trees?

Ooh, he looks so cute, and he won't eat any of our trees. Can we take him home?
What do you mean, have I been saving up my allowance?

How come life's so complicated?

Artist Dalek

Friends Helping Friends

Blue: Sure enough, there's a real elephant! 
Artist: And look, behind the boulder, there's another spraying water.
Blue: Wow, thanks so much for helping me find the elephants.
Artist: That's what friends do.

K-9 Wants A Nibble

K-9: Master may be a fussy eater, but that gives me plenty of opportunities to sneak a nibble. Nonetheless, I must remember my mantra: Safety First! Between the slashing blade, and the impaling prongs, I must time my nibble precisely, or I'll get injured instead of satisfied.

I wonder: if I just asked him for a nibble, might he set aside a small piece for me? I mean, even robot dogs occasionally grow tired of subsisting on the crumbs from the Master's table. Especially when those crumbs are chocolate cake.

The Difference Between Daleks and Polar Bears

Captain Scarlet: Daleks and Polar Bears share many fine qualities. We inhabit the cold oceans (of the Arctic or Space), and we rule our territories without mercy. With our intelligence, strength, and deadly weaponry, Daleks and Polar Bears can take down any creatures who threaten or annoy us. Both species also boast impenetrable exterior protection. For most Polar Bears, that's a dense layer of fat beneath a thick, hairy coat. For others, such as my friend here, it's shiny metal armor, reminiscent of a Dalek's Dalekanium casing. Smart folks, those Polar Bears.

So what's the main difference between a polar bear and a Dalek, you ask? That's an easy question to answer. Unlike a Polar Bear mother, who only cares for her cubs for two years, our Mistress plans to keep us forever. That's right: Forever!

Of course, if she makes a Dalek as a gift for others, it's assured a good home, because everyone loves Daleks. That is, with the insignificant exception of Thals, Cybermen, Zygons, Sontarans, Movellans, and any other species the Daleks have fought or attempted to rule. But that doesn't apply to Humans, because no matter how often we invade Earth, the people here love us. But I digress, digress, digress!

On Not Exterminating An Elephant

An Ode to an Elephant

by Captain Scarlet

There's no need to be bashful,

Or frightened 

Or shy.

I promise not to exterminate you,

That's why.

The Peeping Tom of the Animal Kingdom

Captain Scarlet: My optical sensor may sit on the end of a stalk, but that doesn't make me a stalker. Hey Giraffes: Get a life! Stop living vicariously through others by peering in through their second story windows. And no, I don't mean by "Get a life" that you should watch soap operas or "reality" TV.

Still, if you're looking for a fun show, check out my namesake in "Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons." It's pretty cool, even if it doesn't feature any Daleks.

The Wall Garden

Rusty: Wow! I guess you don't need a lot of space to have a great garden!

The Battle of the Squash

Denim: By Davros, what's all that inside?
Pocket: Shoot now, investigate later! 
Denim: But I'm already using maximum power, and my gun's overheating. I don't think I can destroy them all!
Pocket: Whatever you do, don't let those tentacles touch you! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!

Potato Duty

Pocket: Keep alert, Denim! Guard these potatoes with your life!
Denim: But sir, Mistress grew them in her garden. Doesn't she have the right to--
Pocket: Negative! Baking, frying, mashing: there's no end to a Human's insatiable yearning for potatoes!! If we allow them to, these will be gone in a few days!!! We must ration them, ration them, ration them!!!!

How To Be Lean & Mean

Denim: What? No Donuts this morning?
Pocket: Nope! It's time to get lean and mean.
Denim: But it's the weekend!
Pocket: Look, you've got toast with Papaya Pineapple jam. Doesn't that make you happy?
Denim: No.
Pocket: Why not?
Denim: Because I'm mean, remember?