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Sunday, June 26, 2016

The Yeti & Independence Day


Red: I like this much better.
Blue: I don't know. The omelet slices now remind me of a snowman.
Red: Or a Yeti.
Blue: How do they remind you of a Yeti?
Red: Well, do you remember how the Great Intelligence controlled the Yeti with shiny spheres secreted inside their furry bodies?
Blue: Of course. But that brings up another point. Our omelets aren't furry.
Red: They would be if I bought Master a cat. 
Blue: Well, Independence Day is coming up.
Red: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the sequel.
Blue: That's not what I meant.
Red: You mean, you don't want to go with me?
Blue: No, that's not what I... Of course I'll go with you. I'll even pay for the popcorn.
Red: Great! I'll go purchase the movie tickets, then buy Master a cat!
Blue: Uh, wait. Hold on. I'm not sure that's such a good idea! Wait up, Red!! Let's talk about this!!!

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Friends With Benefits


Blue: Well, we did it! We cooked our egg a new way, and we got it out of the pot with only a few minor singes. 
Red: I'm still not sure about the shape of the egg. And we haven't left much room for cutting it into bite-size portions.
Blue: That's why I brought you along. I can always depend upon you for a second opinion.
Red: But you don't always agree with my opinion.
Blue: That's the great thing about friends. You don't have to take their advice, but it's always nice that it's available. 

Friday, June 24, 2016

A New Challenge


Red: I'm used to thinking of omelets as flat, two-dimensional objects. I'm not sure my circuits can handle the notion of a three-dimensional omelet.
Blue: It's like we've created a different kind of egg.
Red: Now how are we going to get a spatula inside to lift out today's half?
Blue: That's not the difficult part.
Red: How so?
Blue: The next challenge will be how to carefully roll the egg pot onto its side, and slide out today's portion, without burning ourselves on the hot sides of the container.
Red: Perhaps, if we use a hot pad?
Blue: You see, you never know what ingenious solution you will discover, until you try!

Thursday, June 23, 2016

On Appearances And Appeal


Blue: Peas, really? Out of all the possible vegetables, you picked peas?
Red: What's wrong with peas?
Blue: What's wrong with peas? It's only that we've already got cilantro: we don't need another green ingredient! You could have chosen orange carrots, or yellow squash, or white cauliflower--
Red: Or red tomatoes?
Blue: Exactly! That would have created interest, increased its appeal, and sent its mouth-watering, gotta-have-it factor through the roof!! Instead, you gave me something that added nothing to its visual attraction!!!
Red: But I like peas. They're my favorite vegetable.
Blue: They're your favorite vegetable? What has that to do with it? We're attempting to create a new dimension in omelets here, and you dare to talk about your favorite... Actually, they're my favorite vegetable too. Well done, Red. Good choice.
Red: Well, I'm glad we've decided that!

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The Challenge


Red: Okay, I've finished cutting the ham. I think we're ready to go.
Blue: Let's see: onion, cilantro, ham, and most essentially, eggs.
Red: Or prepackaged egg-white product.
Blue: Same difference. I guess we're ready to...wait, you forgot the vegetables!
Red: A real Dalek doesn't eat vegetables.
Blue: We can debate the appropriate levels of cholesterol in a Dalek's digestive organs later! We're attempting to prove we can build a better omelet than Pocket and Denim can with a skillet!! How can we possibly accomplish that if you've left out a crucial ingredient!!!
Red: Okay, okay, I get us some veges. Keep your yarn on.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Invention Or Fad?


Denim: What's in the box, sir?
Pocket: A present Blue bought Master for Father's Day.
Denim: Why would he waste his hard won money on that? Everyone knows the best way to cook an omelet is in a skillet?
Pocket: Eggs-actly, Cadet. This will never catch on!

Sunday, June 19, 2016

A New Battle Cry


Pocket: Geronimo! Ger-On-I-Mo!! GER-ON-I-MO!!!
Denim: What are you doing, sir?
Pocket: I'm trying out a new battle cry, Cadet. 
Denim: Why, sir? What's wrong with EXTERMINATE?
Pocket: Nothing. I'm just changing things up. A true leader should never get complacent.
Denim: Yes, sir. But, sir, why "Geronimo?"
Pocket: It's this flower. It's vibrant beauty calls out and demands your attention. 
Denim: Uh...Um...
Pocket: Yes, Cadet?
Denim: Sir, I don't know how to tell you this, but the flower's name is Geranium, not Geronimo.
Pocket: Well that's hardly helpful, Cadet. I can hardly go around yelling Geranium, can I?
Denim: Oh, I don't know. After all...
Pocket: Yes?
Denim: GERANIUM! GER-AN-IUM!! HALT, OR YOU WILL BE GERANIUMED!!!
Pocket: Hm. Keep working on it, Cadet. You never know. It might catch on.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Noah benShea on Importance


Pocket: What's the quote on the back of your sugar packet, Cadet?
Denim: "Of all the things you can make in life, remember you make a difference."
Pocket: I must say, I find these Sugar For The Soul packets uplifting.
Denim: As uplifting as tea and cookies, Sir?
Pocket: Well...enough introspection, Cadet! Say, are you going to pour that tea, or shall I enlist the Cybermen's help?
Denim: No sir! I'll gladly make a difference today by sharing tea with you!
Pocket: Agreed. Daleks exterminate tea together! 
Daleks Exterminate Tea Together! 
DALEKS EXTERMINATE TEA TOGETHER!!!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Noah benShea on Family


Denim: What's the quote on your sugar packet, sir?
Pocket: It reads, "Family is a way of holding hands with forever."
Denim: But we don't have hands. Would touching suction appendages count?
Pocket: I don't see why not, Cadet.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Under The Influence


Denim: Sir?
Pocket: Yes, Cadet?
Denim: Hanging up here like this, aren't we in danger of transforming into monkeys?
Pocket: In proximity to this fruit, I'm more worried of taking on the characteristics of Minions.
Denim: Oh sir, you had to say it. I couldn't place it before, but now, I definitely feel the call!
Pocket: Repress it, Cadet. Repress it!
Denim: I can't hold it in, sir!
Pocket: I'm ordering you, Cadet! Once you start--
Denim: Banana. Ba-na-na! BA-NA-NA!
Pocket: EXTERMINATE BANANAS! 
EXTERMINATE BANANAS!! 
EXTERMINATE ALL BANANAS!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Vanishing Pancakes


Pocket: You were right, Cadet. Those pancakes sure disappeared fast. We were fortunate to save this one for our own enjoyment.
Denim: There's a reason they're called hotcakes, sir.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Christmas in June


Pocket: Cadet, you made so many pancakes you had to break out the holiday plates?
Denim: Master and Mistress will think Christmas came early this year.
Pocket: If this doesn't keep their spirits bright, nothing will.
Denim: Ho Ho Ho, sir!


Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Bananarama


Denim: Alert! Alert!! Deploy defensive measures!!!
Pocket: What's the matter, Cadet?
Denim: We're surrounded by an onslaught of bananas!
Pocket: Yeah, Humans rarely consider such dangers, when they plant a banana tree.