Not Quite Threatening Enough

Shadow: I can't believe this is our last moment in England.
K-9: Not quite. They don't begin boarding for an hour yet.
Shadow: Still, we've had such a wonderful time!
K-9: Yes, but everything ends eventually.
Shadow: I suppose. Still, I want to savor our last moments here.
K-9: Not me. I want to eat up, and get to the gate.
Shadow: What's the hurry?
K-9: When they call for pre-boarding, I want to be first in line.
Shadow: You're just angry they made us ride with the cargo last time.
K-9: Well, I did think you could have threatened to Exterminate them more convincingly.
Shadow: Perhaps the tea can bolster my threatening presence.

When Something Is Lacking

Shadow: Finally! British Fish and Chips!
K-9: Now if only they had ketchup.
Shadow: Still, that unique flavor of British fish you can't get in America.
K-9: I still think it would be better with ketchup.
Shadow: You can buy a packet of ketchup at the counter.
K-9: It's not real ketchup. It tastes different somehow.
Shadow: So you want an authentic British meal with an American condiment?
K-9: Either that, or with a pickled onion.

Tea Time & Cathedrals

Shadow: What is it about tea time and Cathedrals? 
K-9: They do seem to go together, don't they?
Shadow: I suppose, after a morning of philosophical discussion...
K-9: Or Bible teachings...
Shadow: Or learning about the architecture of the buildings...
K-9: The history of how worship styles changed through the centuries...
Shadow: Studying the famous people associated with them...
K-9: Admiring the artistry of the stain glass windows, paintings, wood carvings, tombs, plaques...
Shadow: Phew. I'm exhausted just thinking about all that.
K-9: Time for tea?
Shadow: Absolutely.

Of Miracles & Sushi

Shadow: Phew: This cake was tough to cut.
K-9: Yet definitely worth it. Now we have two slices to eat instead of one.
Shadow: Maybe that explains the feeding of the five thousand. Jesus split the fish and loaves into lots of little pieces, and presented them in a way that everyone was satisfied.
K-9: So you're saying that Jesus was a Sushi Chef?
Shadow: Possibly. Was the fish cooked?

A Reminder of Home

Shadow: I'm confused. 
K-9: I know.
Shadow: First I'm presented with the Barbecue Chicken Sandwich.
K-9: Then a Soda that claims lineage with San Diego.
Shadow: Why must I be inundated with American influences in England?
K-9: Well, there is the Belgian Bun. That gives the meal an International flavor.
Shadow: I guess Greggs must cater to Brits who don't want to eat British.
K-9: Or wayward travelers hungering for home.
Shadow: I'm glad we're above such base, Human emotions.
K-9: Agreed, Diabolical Killing Machine.
Shadow: Really? Enough already with the name-calling!
K-9: Sorry. It must be the Soda. The bubbles make me tipsy.

Talking Courgettes

Shadow: So a Courgette is the British term for a Zucchini?
K-9: Correct, Alien Killing Machine.
Shadow: But if a Zucchini grows a meter long, the Brits call it a Marrow?
K-9: Correct, Evil Computerized Villain.
Shadow: So depending on its size, the Brits could call this Courgette Cake a Marrow Cake?
K-9: Correct, World-Destroying Inhuman Monster.
Shadow: Stop calling me rotten names, or I Will Squash You! Squash You!! SQUASH YOU!!!
K-9: Squash doesn't have the same catchy ring as Exterminate, does it?
Shadow: Agreed. It definitely lacks an edge.

The Most Important Meal of the Day

K-9: Eggs?
Shadow: Tick.
K-9:: Sausage?
Shadow: Right.
K-9:: Bacon?
Shadow: Got it.
K-9:: Black Pudding?
Shadow: Absolutely.
K-9:: That's what Master needs. A hearty, healthy breakfast to get him going.
Shadow: Uh...yes.

Relaxing With Buffy the Vampire Slayer

K-9: You mean the witches burned hundreds of years ago in Salem, Massachusetts, return from the afterlife to possess the bodies of Buffy's friends?
Shadow: Don't forget about the horde of zombies that claw their way out of the ground to chase her into a truck stop diner.
K-9: That's what I always look for at this time of year. A little light reading.

Lost in Snape Maltings

Shadow: K-9? Hello? Where are you? Honestly, I can't imagine why that dog wanted to come to Snape Maltings in the first place.

K-9: It's so beautiful out here. What a shame the Doctor and Romana left me in the TARDIS when they confronted the Power of Kroll. Say, I wonder where that Dalek went off to? He's always wandering off and getting lost.

A Belgian Bounty

Shadow: Brussels Sprouts and a Belgian Bun?
K-9: Master has an iron constitution.
Shadow: We could ease his digestive workload. I'm sure he wouldn't miss some of this icing.
K-9: You know, sometimes you hold water.
Shadow: Yeah, my yarn sure gets soggy when I go for a relaxing soak in a nice hot pot of tea.

Looking For Loki

K-9: I still don't understand why we couldn't have gotten the Doctor Who card game.
Shadow: I object to being categorized as a villain. 
K-9: It's illogical to be ashamed of your heritage.
Shadow: I'm not ashamed of who I am. I just reject easy labels. Now, do you want to see the next card or not?
K-9: Sure. I hope it's Thor, or better yet, Jane Foster. She reminds me of Sarah Jane Smith.
Shadow: I'm hoping it's Loki. He's a righteous dude.

A Fiery Brew

K-9: You drag me all the way here, and then all you offer me is light beer?
Shadow: I think you'll like it. It's a fiery brew.
K-9: I want to lubricate my components, not incinerate my circuits.
Shadow: Okay, I'll drink it.
K-9: Now you're just being illogical.

Hither And Yon

Shadow: If we had a boat, we could set sail for hither and yon.
K-9: I'm not sure about Hither, but this Yawn place sounds boring.

Robots: Do No Harm!

Shadow: What do you mean, you can't eat it?
K-9: I cannot harm a member of my kind.
Shadow: But it's not a real robot. It's only made of chocolate!
K-9: So if you saw a Dalek made of chocolate, you would consume it?
Shadow: Of course!
K-9: You are truly a soulless creature.
Shadow: You are too kind.

A Moment of Serenity

Ahhhh.

A Question of Illumination

K-9: How many Daleks does it take to change a Lighthouse bulb?
Shadow: It depends. Is the Doctor nearby?

Flavor With a You

Mmm. Handcooked Ham and English Mustard is so flavorful with a You.

A Rocky Road

Shadow: Look! It's a Rocky Road!
K-9: Relax. Everything will be fine, as long as we're together.
Shadow: What a kind thing to say, K-9!
K-9: Shh. I'm talking to the Rocky Road.

An Invitation

Would you care to join me?

No? 

Are you sure?

This could take awhile.

Seaside Humor

Warning: Object in view may be closer than it a-piers. 

Get it? A-piers?

Now laugh or I will exterminate you.