Not The Chocolate You're Looking For

Nothing worthy of notice is occurring.

Move along, move along.

Ha ha ha hah ha hah ha haha hahahahahaha!

Cruelty In Chocolate

K-9: I see you've returned with the essentials. What should we eat first?
Rex: I'm afraid you can only eat the licorice allsorts, K-9.
K-9: Why? Chocolate should pose no danger to robot dogs.
Rex: Perhaps, but better safe than sorry.
K-9: So Daleks will be consuming all the chocolate?
Rex: Negative. Daleks will be exterminating Exterminating EXTERMINATING the chocolate.
K-9: Daleks are mean.
Rex: Love is a harsh mistress.

K-9 Versus Marley

Rex: Halt! You will not eat the Humans' cornbread!
K-9: Why not? I'm part of the family.
Rex: Yes, but you're a robot dog. You eat robot dog food.
K-9: I'm more than a robot dog. I am an irresistible force!
Rex: I should have known letting you watch "Marley & Me" was a mistake.

Exterminating Easter

Gray: Ah, the perfect Easter treat.
K-9: Agreed. I could totally Exterminate Exterminate Exterminate this.
Gray: Well said.

A Tricky Conversation

Rex: Query. What's so important about this chunk of celestial debris?
K-9: It's not an asteroid. It's an ammonoid.
Rex: It's not that cold. If it's not frozen, how could they transform the gas into a solid?
K-9: Correction. I said ammonoid, not ammonia. 
Rex: So its an alien then.
K-9: Negative. It's a fossilized shell, named by Human writer Pliny the Elder, after an Egyptian god.
Rex: Query. If the Human was called Pliny the Elder, what was the Egyptian god called? Pliny the Exalted? Pliny the Supreme? Pliny the--
K-9: Correction. Pliny named the shells after the Egyptian god Ammon.
Rex: I see. Say, I like beach combing. I could write books about what I find, and be remembered like this Human Pliny.
K-9: You won't find a shell like this. It's from an extinct sea creature.
Rex: Shame. We could use something like this to liven up the master's office.
K-9: Agreed. He could use it as a paper weight.
Rex: It'd be a real conversation starter. What caused all the interesting patterns?
K-9: The intricate design was caused by sexual dimorphism.
Rex: Excuse me?
K-9: I said, the intricate design was caused by sexual--
Rex: As I'm destined to be remembered for my great writings, and associated with the gods, I order you to delete that portion of the official analysis from the records.
K-9: Who did you say was going to be the great writer?
Rex: Savor your place in history. Behind every great writer is a good researcher and secretary.

The Mysteries of Preservation

Rex: So Humans preserve what they need, and Exterminate everything else?
K-9: Correct, Dalek.
Rex: And Humans need dinosaurs, to teach them about Earth history?
K-9: Correct, Dalek.
Rex: Then why are the museum staff Exterminating that dinosaur?
K-9: Humans explore supernatural mysteries, as well as scientific ones. 

Rex: So the museum staff are also practitioners of magic?
K-9: Correct, Dalek. After they saw him in two, they'll put him back together again.

Preservation And Extermination

Rex: Donate? Donate!?! 
K-9: It's what humans do.
Rex: Daleks exterminate! Daleks do not donate!
K-9: You can't always exterminate. Sometimes, it's important to preserve.
Rex: Exterminate and preserve? The two concepts are mutually exclusive!
K-9: Illogical. Everyone preserves what they need, and exterminates everything else.
Rex: What? You mean everyone exterminates?
K-9: Correct. Daleks just talk about it all the time, that's all.
Rex: Are you saying Daleks are windbags?
K-9: Incorrect. Daleks are full of much more than hot air.
Rex: I'd exterminate you if you'd ever let me win an argument.
K-9: You see! As you never can, you must preserve, preserve, Preserve Me!

Dalek Get Lost

K-9: Scanning. No heat or power emissions located. I can't detect him anywhere.

Rex, come back! How do you expect me to cross this stream on this spindly log? You think I'm as agile as the Doctor? 

Somehow, he's cloaked himself. My scanner is useless. Where'd he go? 

Geez Louise, Dalek Disease! I'm at the end of my leash with that so-called travel buddy of mine!

You'd think, after all this time, he wouldn't take a comment like "Get Lost" literally!

Feeling Lost

Rex: Do you ever feel lost?
K-9: Correction: we are not lost.
Rex: As if you just don't fit in anywhere.
K-9: Specification: Exact location has been determined.
Rex: You feel like a stranger, and life seems without purpose.
K-9: Query: How can you feel purposeless?
Rex: Even a Dalek can grow to see the futility of an unending series of Exterminations. Exterminations! EXTERMINATIONS!!!
K-9: Analysis: I detect a change of mood.
Rex: Thanks for helping me find my way back.
K-9: Repetition: We were never lost.
Rex: Quiet, or I'll Exterminate you.
K-9: Yeah, right. You can try.

Not Quite Threatening Enough

Shadow: I can't believe this is our last moment in England.
K-9: Not quite. They don't begin boarding for an hour yet.
Shadow: Still, we've had such a wonderful time!
K-9: Yes, but everything ends eventually.
Shadow: I suppose. Still, I want to savor our last moments here.
K-9: Not me. I want to eat up, and get to the gate.
Shadow: What's the hurry?
K-9: When they call for pre-boarding, I want to be first in line.
Shadow: You're just angry they made us ride with the cargo last time.
K-9: Well, I did think you could have threatened to Exterminate them more convincingly.
Shadow: Perhaps the tea can bolster my threatening presence.

When Something Is Lacking

Shadow: Finally! British Fish and Chips!
K-9: Now if only they had ketchup.
Shadow: Still, that unique flavor of British fish you can't get in America.
K-9: I still think it would be better with ketchup.
Shadow: You can buy a packet of ketchup at the counter.
K-9: It's not real ketchup. It tastes different somehow.
Shadow: So you want an authentic British meal with an American condiment?
K-9: Either that, or with a pickled onion.

Tea Time & Cathedrals

Shadow: What is it about tea time and Cathedrals? 
K-9: They do seem to go together, don't they?
Shadow: I suppose, after a morning of philosophical discussion...
K-9: Or Bible teachings...
Shadow: Or learning about the architecture of the buildings...
K-9: The history of how worship styles changed through the centuries...
Shadow: Studying the famous people associated with them...
K-9: Admiring the artistry of the stain glass windows, paintings, wood carvings, tombs, plaques...
Shadow: Phew. I'm exhausted just thinking about all that.
K-9: Time for tea?
Shadow: Absolutely.

Of Miracles & Sushi

Shadow: Phew: This cake was tough to cut.
K-9: Yet definitely worth it. Now we have two slices to eat instead of one.
Shadow: Maybe that explains the feeding of the five thousand. Jesus split the fish and loaves into lots of little pieces, and presented them in a way that everyone was satisfied.
K-9: So you're saying that Jesus was a Sushi Chef?
Shadow: Possibly. Was the fish cooked?

A Reminder of Home

Shadow: I'm confused. 
K-9: I know.
Shadow: First I'm presented with the Barbecue Chicken Sandwich.
K-9: Then a Soda that claims lineage with San Diego.
Shadow: Why must I be inundated with American influences in England?
K-9: Well, there is the Belgian Bun. That gives the meal an International flavor.
Shadow: I guess Greggs must cater to Brits who don't want to eat British.
K-9: Or wayward travelers hungering for home.
Shadow: I'm glad we're above such base, Human emotions.
K-9: Agreed, Diabolical Killing Machine.
Shadow: Really? Enough already with the name-calling!
K-9: Sorry. It must be the Soda. The bubbles make me tipsy.

Talking Courgettes

Shadow: So a Courgette is the British term for a Zucchini?
K-9: Correct, Alien Killing Machine.
Shadow: But if a Zucchini grows a meter long, the Brits call it a Marrow?
K-9: Correct, Evil Computerized Villain.
Shadow: So depending on its size, the Brits could call this Courgette Cake a Marrow Cake?
K-9: Correct, World-Destroying Inhuman Monster.
Shadow: Stop calling me rotten names, or I Will Squash You! Squash You!! SQUASH YOU!!!
K-9: Squash doesn't have the same catchy ring as Exterminate, does it?
Shadow: Agreed. It definitely lacks an edge.

The Most Important Meal of the Day

K-9: Eggs?
Shadow: Tick.
K-9:: Sausage?
Shadow: Right.
K-9:: Bacon?
Shadow: Got it.
K-9:: Black Pudding?
Shadow: Absolutely.
K-9:: That's what Master needs. A hearty, healthy breakfast to get him going.
Shadow: Uh...yes.

Relaxing With Buffy the Vampire Slayer

K-9: You mean the witches burned hundreds of years ago in Salem, Massachusetts, return from the afterlife to possess the bodies of Buffy's friends?
Shadow: Don't forget about the horde of zombies that claw their way out of the ground to chase her into a truck stop diner.
K-9: That's what I always look for at this time of year. A little light reading.

Rabbit Logic

K-9: That does not compute. Why should I be too slow to understand your hare-brained schemes?

Lost in Snape Maltings

Shadow: K-9? Hello? Where are you? Honestly, I can't imagine why that dog wanted to come to Snape Maltings in the first place.

K-9: It's so beautiful out here. What a shame the Doctor and Romana left me in the TARDIS when they confronted the Power of Kroll. Say, I wonder where that Dalek went off to? He's always wandering off and getting lost.

A Belgian Bounty

Shadow: Brussels Sprouts and a Belgian Bun?
K-9: Master has an iron constitution.
Shadow: We could ease his digestive workload. I'm sure he wouldn't miss some of this icing.
K-9: You know, sometimes you hold water.
Shadow: Yeah, my yarn sure gets soggy when I go for a relaxing soak in a nice hot pot of tea.