Daleks Versus Barbarians

Denim: Sir, why didn't we get three malasadas?
Pocket: Because there's only two of us Daleks, of course.
Mini X-O: That's not very Visigoth of you.
Pocket: For the last time, we are not barbarians!
Mini X-O: You destroy indigenous populations, correct?
Denim: He's got a point, sir.
Mini X-O: You conquer nations and convert free people into slaves, don't you?
Pocket: I'll admit our hiring methods often get misconstrued by the media.
Mini X-O: You exterminate Exterminate EXTERMINATE all life from entire planets, yes?
Pocket: Yes, but Daleks are also easy going, fun loving, and sophisticated.
Denim: So can we give him part of our malasadas, sir?
Pocket: All right, give your barbarian friend a small tribute.
Mini X-O: That's rather Roman of you.
Pocket: Don't push it, Bub!

The Dalek Truth

I've been hearing a lot about "Fake News" lately.

Frankly, it's all nonsense. If it's been printed, it's true.

So I'm printing my own book. 

It's called The Dalek Truth.

Chapter 1: If you don't believe everything I say, 

I'll Exterminate Exterminate EXTERMINATE YOU!!!

The Dalek Truth will be available in all good bookstores.

While there is no requirement to buy, 

Supreme Dalek strongly urges you to do so.

Identifying With Percy Jackson

Alert! Visual recognition systems faulty!
What's wrong with me?

I can't concentrate. My energy levels are skyrocketing!

Wait, Percy Jackson suffers from dyslexia and ADHD. 

That's it: I'm a Dalek Demigod!

Beware the bolts of lightning this unit shall throw!