Rank Hath Its Privileges

Denim: Uh, sir, how come I've been assigned with guarding this salad, while you're in charge of protecting that platter of chicken curry and chips.
Pocket: You must prove yourself capable of handling small responsibilities before you are tasked with more important ones.
Denim: Is that just a nice way of saying that you're in charge, and so you chose the plum assignment?
Pocket: Really, Cadet!
Denim: Sorry sir. That thought was unworthy of me.

Is It Art?

Blue: I don't know if it's art, but it makes me happy.

The Bideford Dragon

Denim: So, what's it really like to live in Bideford? Go on, you can tell me. You know, as one dangerous creature to another.

The Daleks of the River Torridge

Denim: Sir, have you heard what the residents of Bideford call the River Torridge?
Pocket: No, but it's always useful to learn local information like that. What do they call it?
Denim: They say "It's only water under the Long Bridge."
Pocket: Oh. Was that an attempt at humor?
Denim: Just trying to brighten your day, boss.
Pocket: Noted.

Say Cheese!

Inquiry: Is there anything better than a thick slice of English Cheddar on your hamburger?

Well, is there? 

Warning: Drool alert! Maintain control!! MELTDOWN IN PROGRESS!!!