The Secret of Stonehenge

Denim: What is the secret of Stonehenge? Why do people from all over the world travel here? What makes this stone ring so important?
Pocket: I don't know. Human data records are inconclusive on this point. 
Denim: It's too windy out on the plain. I'm going back to the car, to plot the course to our next destination. You coming?
Pocket: I think I'll wait for Master & Mistress to finish sketching.

Pocket: Alert! Alert!! I was lost in contemplation, and Master & Mistress have departed! Where did they go? Perhaps I'll find them in the Visitor's Center.

Pocket: Sensors detect succulent meat, potato, and vegetables contained in a pastry shell. Human data records identify this as a Cornish Pasty. Must investigate further: a sample is required.

Alert! Alert!! I've discovered the secret of Stonehenge!!!

Exterminate Human Bodily Secretions

Denim: I scouted out the bathroom, but I couldn't find any washcloths.
Pocket: In my research, I discovered many English hotels don't provide washcloths for their guests.
Denim: Why do you think that is?
Pocket: Well, it's colder here, so maybe British Humans secrete fewer body oils. In any case, I came prepared. Choose your superhero.

Denim: I know we turn Bruce Banner into the Hulk by making him angry. How do we activate a Hulk washcloth?
Pocket: How do you get anyone to swell up with rage? Put him under the hot tap!

Denim: You were right sir. Hulk is ready to Smash Human bodily secretions now.
Pocket: Or, as we Daleks say...
Denim & Pocket: Exterminate Human Bodily Secretions! 

Exterminate Human Bodily Secretions!! 

Exterminate Human Bodily Secretions!!!

The Dalek Arrival

Denim: Look, we've arrived in Heathrow! 
Pocket: Great. I'll wake up Master and Mistress.

Denim: Look at all these roundels! We must have gotten lost in the TARDIS!
Pocket: No, we're in England, all right. The lights are just to remind us that the English use roundabouts instead of traffic lights.

Pocket: Finally, our chariot awaits!
Denim: Wait! What side of the car do we ride on?
Pocket: We're Daleks. We command the middle, as usual.
Denim: It's good to be a Dalek. 

Denim: After watching movies and sleeping on the plane, why have we stopped so soon? Adventure awaits!

Pocket: First, jet lag must be exterminated. Relax, they'll be plenty of time for adventure. Right now, tea awaits.

Dalek Dreams at Ke'e Beach

Once upon a time, two Daleks traveled to Kauai.

This is another of their adventures.

Pocket: Alert! Alert!! ALERT!!! Approaching a long, one-lane bridge!
Denim: Stand down, sir. There's no need for alarm. One-lane bridges are a feature of Kauai's north coast. 
Pocket: How dare you tell me to stand down, cadet! You may have researched Kauai, but you're not familiar with the dangers of driving in this foreign land!

Denim: Here we are at Ke'e Beach. You can relax, sir. We've arrived!
Pocket: How dare you tell me to relax, cadet! Danger and proximity alerts have overwhelmed my sensors!

Denim: Master displays no signs of anxiety. In fact, there he goes now.

Pocket: I hope he takes sensible precautions! Oceans are filled with danger!

Denim: Sir, I assure you, Master faces no unnecessary danger. Here, let me share an image with you from his sketch book.

Pocket: Ooh, you're right, that looks...say, isn't that a Snowflake Eel? Don't they have long, sharp teeth?
Denim: Yes, but they won't bother him unless he bothers them.

Pocket: I suppose, with my gun, I could always EXTERMINATE!!! any dangerous creatures. Aside from that Snowflake Eel, snorkeling looks fun. Images flood my mind: investigating the ocean depths, exploring the underwater topography, and making first contact with previously undiscovered denizens of the sea. Ooh, what a wonderful experience that could be!
Denim: Master, now that I've shared that image, could we disengage? I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable.
Pocket: You mean, you're experiencing a Proximity Alert?
Denim: Definitely.

Pocket & Denim Dalek

Hot on the Wailua Trail

Once upon a time, two Daleks traveled to Kauai.

This is their adventure.

Pocket: So where on Kauai are we today?
Denim: We're at the Wailua River Overlook. It's part of the Wailua Heritage Trail.

Denim: The ancient Hawaiians used this valley to grow their crops.

Pocket: I suppose they ate fish from the river too.
Denim: Not necessarily, or at least not most Hawaiians. The river was considered sacred, and the chief domain of royalty.

Pocket: Oh look, there go some Hawaiian royals now, in their motorboat and kayak! Denim?  Hey, where'd he go?

Pocket: Reduce your forward momentum. You're leaving me behind.
Denim: Sorry, boss. I'm anxious to see more of the trail.
Pocket: Opaekaa Falls? What does that mean?

Denim: Opaeka'a were freshwater shrimp once plentiful here.
Pocket: Did the locals fish for them, or just the royals?

Denim: The royals probably had the locals fish for the shrimp, and serve it to them. 
Pocket: It sounds like it was good to be a Hawaiian royal.
Denim: Perhaps, but it's better to be a Dalek.
Pocket: Agreed. Humans may be kings and queens, but Daleks rule!

Pocket & Denim Dalek

The Daleks of Fantasy Island

Once upon a time, there were two Daleks who traveled to Kauai. 

This is their story.

Pocket: So, what's the name of this place we're visiting again?
Denim: It's called Wailua Falls. It's the famous waterfall from "Fantasy Island."
Pocket: Oh yes, I've seen that show. Do you think we'll meet Mr. Roarke?
Denim: It's possible. He's no mere mortal Human being. He's lived for hundreds of years, and wields supernatural powers.

Pocket: Alert! Alert! Mind your path! Danger! Danger!! Danger!!!
Denim: That's fitting. Mr. Roarke always warned his visitors to select their fantasies with care.

Pocket: Danger level reduced. We've arrived at our destination.
Denim: Yes, sir, isn't it amazing?
Pocket: Amazing? Clarify your statement. What's so amazing?
Denim: Just look at them, sir. Da Falls! Da Falls!! DA FALLS!!!

Pocket: Oh no! My gun's leaking! Leaking!! Leaking!!!
Denim: That's not funny, sir. This place is holy to the Hawaiians. We should be respectful. 
Pocket: I acknowledge the logic of your statement. Hawaiians everywhere: please excuse my brief moment of levity.

Denim: Sir, if we meet Mr. Roarke, do you have any fantasies you like him to fulfill?
Pocket: Well, if we could occasionally defeat the Doctor, I would find that acceptable. Acceptable! Acceptable!!!
Denim: No, I meant a specific fantasy you'd like Mr. Roarke to personally fulfill for you, not the entire Dalek race.
Pocket: No, just being on Kauai is a fantasy come true.
Denim: I agree! I agree!! I AGREE!!!

Pocket & Denim Dalek

A Matter of Honor

Pinky: There's nothing better than left over Long John Silver fish.
Captain Scarlet: Except for leftover LJS French Fries.
Pinky: You're in America, good Dalek. They're called Freedom Fries here.
Captain Scarlet: Uh, I don't think so.
Pinky: What? You dare impugn my good character by questioning my declaration?
Captain Scarlet: Excuse me?
Pinky: That cannot be tolerated on this celebrated Day of Independence. I challenge you to a duel!
Captain Scarlet: What are the stakes?
Pinky: The winner gets to serve dessert to the Master!
Captain Scarlet: Zooks and Zounds! You play for high stakes, good Dalek!

Captain Scarlet: Okay, dessert is ready. I suggest we resolve this dispute quickly.
Pinky: On no account shall we rush this contest. French Fries or Freedom Fries: we shall answer the question for all time!
Captain Scarlet: If the ice cream melts, Master will be displeased.
Pinky: Then the loser shall present the dessert! En Garde, and prepare to be EXTERMINATED!!!