Getting Through Their Tough Exteriors

Captain Scarlet: Ah, that's what I've always wanted.
Pinky: You're own spot by the lake?
Captain Scarlet: One I could share with you.
Pinky: You're an old softie.
Captain Scarlet: That's me. A Dalek softie.
Pinky: Aren't we all, dear. Aren't we all.

Evil Beavers

Captain Scarlet: Dam.
Pinky: Watch your language.
Captain Scarlet: Sorry. I just can't take in the scenery over the beaver dam.
Pinky: That's the problem with nature, dear. It's so uncoordinated.

The Season of Giving: Day 20

Pinky: Oh, thank you so much for this Lindt milk chocolate truffle bar!
Christmas: Just don't let me catch you eating at the piano. We must keep those keys clean for Master.
Captain Scarlet: What a crumby thing to say!

Intelligence Boosters

Pinky: I wish I could think of a way to rejuvenate Master's interest in the piano.
Captain Scarlet: I've discovered a new intelligence-booster. Perhaps that could help.

Pinky: At this point, I'm willing to try anything. But how can I assess their effectiveness?
Captain Scarlet: Why not take two, then write a sonata in the morning?

A Matter of Honor

Pinky: There's nothing better than left over Long John Silver fish.
Captain Scarlet: Except for leftover LJS French Fries.
Pinky: You're in America, good Dalek. They're called Freedom Fries here.
Captain Scarlet: Uh, I don't think so.
Pinky: What? You dare impugn my good character by questioning my declaration?
Captain Scarlet: Excuse me?
Pinky: That cannot be tolerated on this celebrated Day of Independence. I challenge you to a duel!
Captain Scarlet: What are the stakes?
Pinky: The winner gets to serve dessert to the Master!
Captain Scarlet: Zooks and Zounds! You play for high stakes, good Dalek!

Captain Scarlet: Okay, dessert is ready. I suggest we resolve this dispute quickly.
Pinky: On no account shall we rush this contest. French Fries or Freedom Fries: we shall answer the question for all time!
Captain Scarlet: If the ice cream melts, Master will be displeased.
Pinky: Then the loser shall present the dessert! En Garde, and prepare to be EXTERMINATED!!!

On the Tenth Day of Christmas

the Daleks celebrate

Ten Daleks wrapping presents.

On the Sixth day of Christmas

the Daleks celebrate

Six Daleks Singing
Da la la la la 

Ex-ter-min-ate! 
Ex-ter-min-ate!

The Dalek ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Captain Scarlet: You want me to do WHAT with this ice bucket? 
Couldn't I just write a check instead?

Exterminate Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis! 

Exterminate Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis!! 

Exterminate Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis!!! 

The Difference Between Daleks and Polar Bears

Captain Scarlet: Daleks and Polar Bears share many fine qualities. We inhabit the cold oceans (of the Arctic or Space), and we rule our territories without mercy. With our intelligence, strength, and deadly weaponry, Daleks and Polar Bears can take down any creatures who threaten or annoy us. Both species also boast impenetrable exterior protection. For most Polar Bears, that's a dense layer of fat beneath a thick, hairy coat. For others, such as my friend here, it's shiny metal armor, reminiscent of a Dalek's Dalekanium casing. Smart folks, those Polar Bears.

So what's the main difference between a polar bear and a Dalek, you ask? That's an easy question to answer. Unlike a Polar Bear mother, who only cares for her cubs for two years, our Mistress plans to keep us forever. That's right: Forever!

Of course, if she makes a Dalek as a gift for others, it's assured a good home, because everyone loves Daleks. That is, with the insignificant exception of Thals, Cybermen, Zygons, Sontarans, Movellans, and any other species the Daleks have fought or attempted to rule. But that doesn't apply to Humans, because no matter how often we invade Earth, the people here love us. But I digress, digress, digress!

On Not Exterminating An Elephant

An Ode to an Elephant

by Captain Scarlet

There's no need to be bashful,

Or frightened 

Or shy.

I promise not to exterminate you,

That's why.

The Peeping Tom of the Animal Kingdom

Captain Scarlet: My optical sensor may sit on the end of a stalk, but that doesn't make me a stalker. Hey Giraffes: Get a life! Stop living vicariously through others by peering in through their second story windows. And no, I don't mean by "Get a life" that you should watch soap operas or "reality" TV.

Still, if you're looking for a fun show, check out my namesake in "Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons." It's pretty cool, even if it doesn't feature any Daleks.

Defusing A Threat

Captain Scarlet: You're so big and strong and intelligent, you remind me of the Eagles in The Dalek Hobbit, a novel by J. R. R. Deathtothals. My, could that Dalek ever write!

A Deleted Scene From "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone"

Captain Scarlet: Excuse me, Mr. Snake, I just wanted to say, 'Way to scare the lubrication fluid out of Dudley!' He's a cruel little Human, and he deserved…uh, okay, sorry! I won't delay you further! Hope you enjoy your new life outside the cage, Mr. Snake!

Say, I didn't realize I could understand Parseltongue. I really am talented!

The Bittersweet Wagon Wheel

Captain Scarlet: The day of final parting has come. Farewell, most excellent of cookies!