Rank Hath Its Privileges

Denim: Uh, sir, how come I've been assigned with guarding this salad, while you're in charge of protecting that platter of chicken curry and chips.
Pocket: You must prove yourself capable of handling small responsibilities before you are tasked with more important ones.
Denim: Is that just a nice way of saying that you're in charge, and so you chose the plum assignment?
Pocket: Really, Cadet!
Denim: Sorry sir. That thought was unworthy of me.

Is It Art?

Blue: I don't know if it's art, but it makes me happy.

The Bideford Dragon

Denim: So, what's it really like to live in Bideford? Go on, you can tell me. You know, as one dangerous creature to another.

The Daleks of the River Torridge

Denim: Sir, have you heard what the residents of Bideford call the River Torridge?
Pocket: No, but it's always useful to learn local information like that. What do they call it?
Denim: They say "It's only water under the Long Bridge."
Pocket: Oh. Was that an attempt at humor?
Denim: Just trying to brighten your day, boss.
Pocket: Noted.

Say Cheese!

Inquiry: Is there anything better than a thick slice of English Cheddar on your hamburger?

Well, is there? 

Warning: Drool alert! Maintain control!! MELTDOWN IN PROGRESS!!!

Davros Versus Terry Nation

Davros: Daleks: what are you doing?
Rex: Preparations underway to light candle, Supreme Leader.
Davros: This room possesses adequate lighting. Candle illumination is unnecessary.
Red: Today is the birthday of the creator. We must honor him.
Davros: I am your creator!
Rex: With respect, Supreme Leader, you merely accelerated our rate of mutation, and developed our travel machines. You are not the Creator.

Davros: I forbid you to believe in this Myth of a Creator. You will not light that candle!
No, stop that! I forbid you to sing!

Rex & Red:

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday, Terry Nation,

Happy Birthday to you!"

Davros: This ceremony is illogical. It defies science and reason! You will erase this belief from your data banks, and desist from such following such ancient and senseless customs!

Davros: What? For me? My own slice of the birthday donut?

Perhaps some customs and beliefs should be upheld. Rather than catering to weak emotions, they remind us of our glorious heritage, and what wonderful beings we are. Very well, I salute you, Terry Nation. Perhaps you really did create me: great, glorious, and magnificent me!

After all, could a superior being of my vast intellect and extraordinary good looks have come into being by random chance? I think not!

Burning Calories in Lyme Regis

Pocket: I've got Honeycomb & Chocolate Ice Cream. What have you got?
Denim: Something real chocolatey. Master & Mistress are adopting the custom of having an afternoon snack. Don't the English call that Tea?
Pocket: Probably not when it involves Ice Cream.
Denim: Aren't you worried about Master & Mistress gaining weight from consuming excess calories?
Pocket: No, I calculate a high probability that they'll burn them off.
Denim: How?

Spicing Up Breakfast with Arkwright & Jamaica Ginger Cake

Pocket: According to the Human authority known as Arkwright, this Jamaica Ginger Cake is "pretty hot stuff."
Denim: What does that mean?
Pocket: I'm not sure. I believe his comment refers to the product's exotic spices, as well as the effect it exerts on Human biology. I suggest we handle it with care, lest it damage our Dalekanium-yarn casing and or short-circuit our electronic systems.

Denim: Well, that's everything: porridge, tea, fruit, and Jamaica Ginger Cake. Shall I alert Master & Mistress that breakfast is ready?
Pocket: Yes, but do so gently. Given all their traveling, sightseeing, and sketching, I'm not sure their systems retain sufficient energy reserves to control the potentially explosive effects of Jamaica Ginger Cake.
Denim: Alert! Alert! Alert! Dangerous breakfast is now being served!

If you're feeling adventurous, and would like Arkwright to instruct you in the virtues and dangers of Jamaica Ginger Cake:

Watch Open All Hours: The Ginger Men