It Is Better To Give Than To Receive

Pocket: What's wrong, Cadet?
Denim: I'm just sad Christmas is over, I guess.
Pocket: Don't worry. You don't need a holiday to give me presents.
Denim: That's kind of you.
Pocket: In fact, if it makes you feel better, you can give me a present every day of the year!
Denim: You always know just what to say, sir.
Pocket: Thanks, Cadet. It's a gift.

A Multicultural Holiday Tradition

Denim: Sir, did you realize that many cultures serve tamales for Christmas dinner?
Pocket: Why do you think we're here, Cadet?
Denim: I thought we were just taking a break from our gift-buying.
Pocket: We're making an important decision. Do we serve tamales or ham for Christmas.
Denim: Well, after all the work we had to do carving up that turkey...
Pocket: You're right. Who needs a taste test? Tamales for everyone for Christmas!
Denim: Hooray!

Getting Your Proper Portion of Christmas

Christmas: Okay, let's cut up that donut evenly, chums. 
Denim: Yes, we wouldn't want anyone to get more than their fair share of Christmas spirit.
Pocket: Forget the Christmas spirit, Cadet. I want my full third of this donut!

The Joy of the Season

Denim: I sure like the Christmas season. Everything is so much more colorful.
Pocket: Yes, big frosted sugar cookies bring out the joy in all of us.

A Problem with a Shoe

Supreme: "Hey, you there, crossing the street! Come back! I need you to investigate my clog immediately!"

You know, this job is really cutting into my Exterminating time. If only the shop owner would let me threaten passersby. Silly human: he doesn't think threatening people with Extermination is good for business. Ah well, perhaps a new approach is called for.

Hm, let's see. How about this?

There once was a Dalek 

Who lived in a shoe,

He made fewer sales, 

Than a cow says moo.

So he modulated his broadcast frequencies 
And soothed his customers asleep,

He took their money, exchanged their shoes, 

Then away he did NOT creep!
Instead, he flew off on a sunny holiday,
Exterminating, Exterminating, Exterminating away,
So be wary of a Dalek,
When he wants to play!

Yes, that might Exterminate customer apathy.

The Black Friday Exterminations

Denim: We have to sort through all these advertisements before sunrise?
Pocket: And list the best deals at each store.
Denim: Shouldn't we be discouraging such crass commercialism?
Pocket: No, we need to focus Master and Mistress on the joys of giving.
Denim: The joys of giving, sir?
Pocket: Affirmative, cadet. It's a Human thing.
Denim: Spending money they don't need to?
Pocket: Hey, it gets them out of the house.
Denim: Why is that important?
Pocket: So we can help them clean out the fridge.
Denim: But sir, I'm exhausted by all the meal preparation and kitchen cleaning yesterday.
Pocket: As you wish. You just relax. I'll tackle the leftovers on my own. 
Denim: You know, sir, you can be truly evil when you wish.
Pocket: Thank you, Cadet. That means a lot.

Thanksgiving Brutality

Denim: Sir, are you sure we can handle this turkey?
Pocket: We'll strip it of its skin, and pare it down to the bones.
Denim: It sounds like quite a demolition job. I wonder if I'm up to it.
Pocket: Yes, I have been rather soft on you lately.
Denim: Couldn't we just blast it into nonexistence.
Pocket: What? And not revel in the carnage?
Denim: You're right, sir. Everyone needs a good hack-and-slash battle now and then.
Pocket: Think of it as utterly conquering your enemy, Cadet.
Denim: That would definitely give me something to be thankful for.

Dalek Get Lost

K-9: Scanning. No heat or power emissions located. I can't detect him anywhere.

Rex, come back! How do you expect me to cross this stream on this spindly log? You think I'm as agile as the Doctor? 

Somehow, he's cloaked himself. My scanner is useless. Where'd he go? 

Geez Louise, Dalek Disease! I'm at the end of my leash with that so-called travel buddy of mine!

You'd think, after all this time, he wouldn't take a comment like "Get Lost" literally!

Feeling Lost

Rex: Do you ever feel lost?
K-9: Correction: we are not lost.
Rex: As if you just don't fit in anywhere.
K-9: Specification: Exact location has been determined.
Rex: You feel like a stranger, and life seems without purpose.
K-9: Query: How can you feel purposeless?
Rex: Even a Dalek can grow to see the futility of an unending series of Exterminations. Exterminations! EXTERMINATIONS!!!
K-9: Analysis: I detect a change of mood.
Rex: Thanks for helping me find my way back.
K-9: Repetition: We were never lost.
Rex: Quiet, or I'll Exterminate you.
K-9: Yeah, right. You can try.

Eating & Self Preservation

Denim: It's alive!! The donut's alive!!!!
Pocket: It's a masterpiece!
Autumn: Glad you like it. Now let's eat it, before it eats us.

Arachnophobia

Denim: No sir, please don't make me. It's too scary to serve alone.
Pocket: Don't worry, Cadet. Just close down your optical sensors, and it'll be over soon.

The Halloween Gift

Autumn: Surprise!!!
Denim: Wow! Where'd you come from?
Pocket: That's the problem with gift bags. You never know what someone might put inside!

A Scary Thought

Autumn: Oh great master, what's the best way to frighten people?
Count Dalekula: Everything is life is about presentation, my child.

Nutritious Super Villains

Count Dalekula: Master reads lots of comics, but none by DC. Why is that?
Captain Skaro: That's easy. DC heroes and villains are inferior to Marvel characters.
Count Dalekula:: Then why would he eat Pop-tarts from DC characters?
Captain Skaro: Why do you think? They were on sale!!
Count Dalekula: So it's okay to eat "inferior villains," just not read about them?
Captain Skaro: Absolutely! DC Villain Pop-tarts are part of a well-balanced diet.

What Do You See?

It's a flower!

It's a ballerina!

It's a giant's origami!

It's...

Getting Through Their Tough Exteriors

Captain Scarlet: Ah, that's what I've always wanted.
Pinky: You're own spot by the lake?
Captain Scarlet: One I could share with you.
Pinky: You're an old softie.
Captain Scarlet: That's me. A Dalek softie.
Pinky: Aren't we all, dear. Aren't we all.

Evil Beavers

Captain Scarlet: Dam.
Pinky: Watch your language.
Captain Scarlet: Sorry. I just can't take in the scenery over the beaver dam.
Pinky: That's the problem with nature, dear. It's so uncoordinated.

Pyramids Go Bust

How do you like my new home?

By utilizing the power of mathematics, 

my new dwelling will empower me. I will be invincible!

What? You say Pyramid Power is a myth?

Oh well. I'll work on channeling my Biorhythms instead.

Separate But Unequal

How come Pocket and Denim get donuts and pastries,

and I get a granola bar?

What do you mean, "I need to Exterminate a few pounds?"

The Space Race

Beep Beep!

Excuse me, Dalek coming through!

Out of the way! I wish to see the moon lander too!

Those Marvelous Summer Revels

Iron Dalek: Ah, the fruits of summer.
Captain Skaro: Don't forget the fruits of Pop-tarts.
Iron Dalek: They go perfectly with the fruits of Master & Mistress' trip to England.
Captain Skaro: You mean the Yorkshire Tea?
Iron Dalek: And the Dalek Mugs they inspired.
Captain Skaro: So, we're thankful for summer fruit, Pop-Tarts, and England?
Iron Dalek: We're thankful for everything that makes us happy.
Captain Skaro: In that case, I'm thankful we get to exterminate this marvelous breakfast.
Iron Dalek: Oh no, that's the Humans' job. We merely get the pleasure of reveling in our creation.
Captain Skaro: Ah. Yes. Those marvelous summer revels.

The Red Pirate

What? 

You think me soft?

You think I've lost the ability to command?

Swab the deck, ye scurvy scum,

or I'll make you walk the plank!

Then I'll exterminate 

Exterminate 

EXTERMINATE you!

A Reason To Stay In The USA

Denim: I don't get it. Why do we need the ketchup, sir?
Pocket: Because the restaurant staff totally ripped us. That's why!
Denim: What do you mean?
Pocket: I wanted all my fries smothered in chili cheese, not just half of them.
Denim: It looks like a decent portion of chili cheese, sir.
Pocket: Are you disputing my assessment, Cadet?
Denim: No sir. In any case, it's a good thing we're in the good old USA, right?
Pocket: What do you mean, Cadet?
Denim: Well, you don't like the ketchup in England, right?
Pocket: Yes, I suppose you have a point there. Still, I prefer chili cheese to ketchup!
Denim: Agreed. Chili cheese rules.

Dinosaur Hygiene

Finally, the true reason the dinosaurs were 

exterminated 

Exterminated 

EXTERMINATED!

They didn't brush and floss regularly, 

and all their teeth fell out!

The Naked Dinosaur

Hey, you in the case!

Yes you, Mr. Deinonychus! 

Look at me when I'm commanding you!!

Put your skin back on, or I'll EXTERMINATE you!!!

Dalek Zen

Pocket: Beauty Alert! Beauty Alert!
Denim: Relax sir, it's too much to take in at once.
Pocket: The colors are just so stark. The scenery so vast. The--
Denim: Reduce your atmospheric intake, sir. Dial down your visual perception.
Pocket: But even my olfactory receptors are overloaded!
Denim: Imagine yourself as a bump on a log sir. You are a stone, unmovable.
Pocket: Thanks, Cadet. I'll initiate my meditation subroutines. 
Denim: That's right, sir. Dalek Zen always calms you down.

Red's Seafaring Rhyme

What boat shall I choose?

What course shall I set?

Will I make great discoveries?

That seems a sure bet.

Improvement Comes At A Price

Denim: Ooh, he's shiny.
Pocket: The manual claims he comes with numerous enhancements.
Tank: Earlier models are inferior, and will be exterminated, Exterminated, EXTERMINATED!!!
Denim: Sir, is it possible he's got a screw loose?
Pocket: I'd say that's a distinct possibility. 

The Pro's of Con Food

Denim: Sir, what is it we are consuming again?
Pocket: Weren't you watching the vendor slop it out of the trays?
Denim: She moved so quickly sir, I barely had time to dig out our money.
Pocket: Well, the sign said White Mac and Cheese, Shredded Beef, and Cole Slaw in a bowl.
Denim: Are we supposed to consume one layer at a time, or all three simultaneously?
Pocket: Beats me, Cadet. I'm just admiring this rare example of human efficiency.

Purity Versus Dominance

Denim: I don't understand, sir. Why must the Humans litter?
Pocket: It's a mark of Human progress, Cadet. 
Denim: How do you mean?
Pocket: It shows their dominance over nature.
Denim: I'm glad Daleks are so singleminded. We just want to destroy everything.
Pocket: Yes, it's a purity other races can only aspire to.

Daleks On Patrol

Denim: Oh look, sir, there's--
Pocket: Quiet, Cadet. We're supposed to be on lookout, remember?
Denim: But sir!
Pocket: Focus, Cadet! There could be any number of villains out there!
Denim: I know, sir! Look, there's the Doc--
Pocket: For the last time, will you be quiet and let me concentrate?
Denim: Yes...sir.

Perfection In All Things

Denim: I was impressed by how you ordered the staff to load up our plate.
Pocket: The sacrifices of Lent, and our vigil in the desert, have purified my soul.
Denim: So now it's back to ruling the Humans with an iron hand?
Pocket: Dalekanium, Cadet. It's a much stronger metal than iron.
Denim: Forgive me, sir.
Pocket: Never! I demand perfection in all things now, Cadet.
Denim: Sorry sir. By the way, your honey packet is upside down.
Pocket: Really? Should I mention that when I fill out the customer survey?
Denim: I shouldn't think so, sir. You wouldn't want them to think you were overly critical.

A Return To The Good Life

Pocket: At last! We can indulge again.
Denim: I'm glad Lent is finally over. All that sacrificing was wearing me out.
Pocket: Still, a little giving up, now and then, is good for the soul.
Denim: Do Daleks have souls, sir?
Pocket: If you keep on talking, and let our dessert melt, you'll find out real quick, Cadet!

Roadside Sustenance

Pocket: I can't believe you dragged us all the way out into the middle of nowhere--
Coulson: But you said you two needed an adventure.
Pocket: Without packing adequate provisions!
Coulson: I got confused, okay? With you two giving up everything for Lent--
Pocket: Lent's over, soldier!
Coulson: Like I said, sir, I got confused. Sorry.
Denim: At least that roadside shop had these candies. And look sir, their English!
Pocket: I don't suppose they had any Jelly Babies?
Denim: I could go ask them.
Pocket: Good idea! Send Coulson back. He's got a lot to atone for!
Coulson: But sir, please! Couldn't I consume my Licorice Allsort first?
Pocket: What? You mean... Oh, very well. Go ahead.
Coulson: Thank you, sir.
Pocket: That's the problem with Lent. All that sacrificing puts me in an easygoing mood.

A Positive Mental Attitude

Pocket: Sometimes I wonder if there's anyplace left to conquer.
Denim: From here, it certainly looks as if this area's been conquered already.
Pocket: Somewhere below must be a hive of scum and villainy.
Denim: That's good, sir. Way to keep a positive attitude.
Pocket: It's essential when seeking a civilization to conquer. 

A Little Illumination Goes A Long Way

Wow, it's like a lightbulb switched on in my head!

Suddenly, I'm inspired!!

I can do great things this year!!!

On Sleeping Dinosaurs

Denim: Why do Dinosaurs need to drink so much coffee, sir?
Pocket: They're so much older than us. It helps them stay awake all day.
Denim: We could let them take the occasional nap.
Pocket: Then they might wake up in the middle of the night!
Denim: Right. We can't let anyone discover what we get up to at night.
Pocket: Well, we could, but then we'd have to Exterminate them.

Getting Carried Away

Pocket: Stop jostling me, Cadet. Let me sleep.
Denim: It's not me, sir! The ground appears to be moving!
Pocket: Alert! Alert!! Earthquake Alert!!!
Denim: I think it's a bit more serious than that.
Pocket: Oh no. Not another stone monster!
Denim: I'm afraid so, sir!
Pocket: Exterminate All Stone Monsters!! Exterminate All Stone Monsters!!!

With A Little Help From My Friend

Pocket: I'm so famished!
Denim: Me too, sir.
Pocket: These Lent sacrifices leave me exhausted, Cadet.
Denim: Just lean on me. You've carried me through the tough times often enough.

A Tithe For Lent

Denim: Whoa! Sir? How could you create such a whacking great dent?
Pocket: It's called tithe, Cadet. It's a sacred duty.
Denim: But I thought Lent was about giving up stuff?
Pocket: It is. You want to help Master and Mistress give up more for Lent?
Denim: Yes please!

One Last Indulgence

Denim: When you decide to have one last fling, you really go for it, sir.
Pocket: There's no merit in an indulgence limited by restraint.
Denim: So I should just dive in, and exterminate Exterminate EXTERMINATE?
Pocket: Within reason, Cadet. Remember, I want some too.

The Rigors Of Leadership

Denim: Sir, how come Blue gets his own card?
Pocket: It' been decided. He's the quirky, breakout character.
Denim: But he's not the Original Dalek. You came first!
Pocket: So? Let him have his day.
Denim: You're so giving, sir.
Pocket: That's cruel necessity, Cadet. The rigors of leadership demand constant sacrifice.

A Lackluster Judicial System

Denim: What do you think it is, sir?
Pocket: Isn't it obvious? It's Master's new wig and robe.
Denim: Why does he need a wig and a robe?
Pocket: Didn't you hear? He's decided to become a British judge.
Denim: Ah. That's what comes of watching too much "Rumpole of the Bailey."
Pocket: I only wish judges used gavels in England.
Denim: Agreed. Pronouncing an Extermination without banging a gavel lacks a certain panache.

Freedom And Liberation

Ah, good, no one's watching.

I'll just sneak inside, and liberate these Fritos.

Let the Fritos be free!

A Long Time Ago, At A Party Far, Far Away

What a perfect cake! My guests will love it!

I wonder though, is there too much to eat?

I know, I'll set aside the droid and princess for later.

I could use someone to serve the food and drinks.

And then there's that metal bikini I can finally find a use for. 

In The Presence Of Greatness

Spider Dalek: I must say, I feel rather outnumbered here.
Hulk Dalek: Spider Dalek in presence of greatness. Should feel proud.
Spider Dalek: Are you kidding? It's just smashing, get it?
Hulk Dalek: Spider Dalek make fun of Hulk, you one who get it.
Spider Dalek: Sorry, big guy. I was just kidding, you know.
Hulk Dalek: That good. Hulk not want to wipe up sticky web fluid from smashed Spider Dalek.